Five lines were rolling through my head this morning as I slumped into the shower to burn away what I was sure was the beginnings of the dreaded coronavirus.

“My husband had the beer last night. Why do I have the hangover?” Don’t be alarmed. Neither he nor I were inebriated. I have never even had a a hangover so the thought was 100% headache-induced.

“This is the first time in almost 6 months I’ve taken a shower by 6 am.” Yikes. I need to add taking a shower to my weekly routine. Again, joke. I’ve showered probably twice a week in quarantine life.

“I can’t believe I both couldn’t sleep and couldn’t get out of bed this morning.” I woke up at 2 am filled with seven million thoughts, and absolutely could not get back to sleep. I checked FB messenger to see if one of my often-awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night friends was up. Alas. Messenger reported she had last been active….FIVE HOURS AGO. I eventually collapsed back to sleep at 4 am, just 30 minutes shy of when I was supposed to be up and at’em (or is it adam?)

I decided that I’d better just sleep until 6 am so that I didn’t crash part way through my day. But when that alarm did go off, as my first line attests, I was certain I was perhaps dying, but assuredly and minimally ill. My temp check and sequential ibuprofen pop told the story of simple sleep deprivation. Thank you 97.6.

“Paratrooping was never one of my life goals, but here I am feeling just like a person who is about to jump out of an airplane from thousands of feet up.” I don’t actually know how high a person and his parachute have to get to safely drop, but I feel like I’m probably a bit too high up altitude-wise to continue the metaphor as I grasp for empathy from fellow moms navigating the first day of school in ways that have NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. Or at least not in the last century.

Well, and my fifth line is straight pandemic-spiked. I woke up with a racing heart from dreaming that my 3-old daughter had adopted a cat and had fed it my favorite blue fuzzy blanket, which my sister’s best dog Monte RIP consequently ate 11 years ago this summer (probably to the date). Not only did this phantom cat eat my blanket, but the blanket traveled through it’s body and wound up growing out of its skin into his hair in the form of multicolored braids. You’ve heard of night terrors? Well now I can coin a new word, CAT TERRORS.

So to ask how I am on the first day of school is a loaded question, and you just got them all!

To be honest, I am fine. Don’t let my word pictures tell you otherwise. Look, I even had time to spend 20 minutes typing this up!

I am at peace with our decision on schooling and I am eager to see the kids’ faces as they meet their teachers and classmates, although everything will be so much different than any other school year they’ve ever had. The reward of having my family around 24/7 since March 14 has been immeasurable. And although at times it has also felt unbearable, I thank the Lord that we have all been healthy and despite my dreams and best (worst) imagination, free from any real harm.

Praying for all the mamas and kiddos and dads and extended family today in our community and around the country as we all embark on school during the time of Covid.

And the teachers. God bless our amazing, unbelievably talented teachers. We support you and love you all!!!

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